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“Yes, I would have gone with you, only, because you are my girlfriend. But I really don’t want to go and I would appreciate it if you respected that.”Everyone nods as the subject is changed.“I feel overwhelmed,” I say as Dr. Jackson listens to my forty-five minute story of the past week. I told her about the demands put on me by the cheerleaders and my fake-girlfriend to take someone to the dance. Not to mention, the pressure of being lusted by the girls in school. It’s like I’m expected to keep the image of being the Big-Man-On-Campus. The savior for everyone that has been bullied. The dream guy for every girl.“Then don’t go to the dance,” Dr. Jackson says surprising me. “You need a break. You mentioned that you want to run away and I agree. I’m not saying run away from home, but take a break from everyone. Christmas break is a great time to stay at home and reflect. Leave your friends behind and focus on you and what you love. Then come back and take on the world.”“That’s a great. I fondled the remote in my pocket. Not too soon, Martin. The prayer takes at least fifteen minutes. Make sure they’re all fully engaged.Maarten came to my table with a cup of coffee. There was a small biscuit on the edge of the saucer, and a tiny metal canister with cream.“Thank you. Is there any cake?”He looked me over and first I thought he was going to say something like: ‘Should you be eating cake, tubby?’, but it turned out to be a look of concern for my mental, rather than my cardiovascular health.“Listen ... Are you okay? I mean, you’re welcome to come here, of course. But it feels as if you’re ... hiding from something.”“I am the same fucked up mess I have always been, and I’ve been hiding from life since 1975. Today is no different from any other day, I assure you.”“Okay. Just ... I was just asking. I thought maybe you were homesick, or something.”“Homesick? Then why would I come to a Belgian coffee bar? I’m British. I’d eat beans on toast and find a traffic jam so I could.
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